ONCHAIN
ZAPS
gm ser. it's happening. IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING.
a presentation by an anon who shipped it anyway. ngmi if u ignore. 🫵
ser. ur npub is also: EIGHT wallets. 🤯
FREE BAGS
no seed phrase. no setup. no clue.
much wallet. very chain. wow. such integration. 🐕
u literally cannot opt out — congrats ur a multi-chain chad now 🦍🍌
WEN LAMBO?
RIGHT. NOW. ANON.
no LNURL 🚫⚡ no node 🚫🖥️ no brain 🚫🧠
just SEND. on chain. forever. publicly. 💯
few understand. ur early. 🫡
…wait.
we did
something insane.
We took the worst property of Bitcoin — a transparent, append-only ledger that survives you — and bolted it to the worst property of social media — a single, world-readable public identifier — and shipped it as a feature.
On eight chains. At the same time.
…oops.
every onchain zap
is a permanent, public mistake
- Address reuse for life. Your npub is public. Your address is derived. One address. Forever. For everyone.
- Free chain-analysis oracle. Every firm on earth gets a deterministic npub→address map. No opting out.
- Fees > value. 21 sats of love costs ~$2 in mining fees. Lightning fees are sub-satoshi.
- Latency. Interactive tipping needs sub-second. L1 gives you 10 minutes if the mempool is empty.
- Forever social graph. Every zap = a signed, timestamped link between two npubs and two on-chain identities.
- $5 wrench attack. Anyone can compute your net worth from a profile click. That is a physical-safety problem.
- Dust UTXOs. Receiving 100 sats creates a UTXO that costs more to spend than it contains.
- One key, one death. Leaked nsec = lost identity AND funds on 8 chains in one event.
use Lightning. NIP-57 already solved this.
the rockets above were a joke. the bullets here are not. ✌
…ok ok ok. fine. ur gonna try it anyway. 🫠
the cursed app lives here 👇
scan. fork. zap... on Lightning. ⚡🫶
gn. 🌙